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I BET YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D MAKE THE QUARTERLY DEADLINE. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, BITCHES?
WHO'S. LAUGHING. NOW?


Okay, so I'm about two weeks late. BUT A DIVA IS NEVER LATE. EVERYONE ELSE IS JUST EARLY. Right?



FUCK YOU, CHANGMIN. ANYBODY ELSE?



Getting laughed at by Junsu? That's just humiliating. The rest of you got my back though, right?










Yeah, that's just the sort of thing I expect from you, you little shit.


AT LEAST I CAN COUNT ON YUNHO TO SUPPORT ME.







DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?


I SAID, DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?



No.



Maybe.



Okay, that's pretty fucking cool. BUT NO, ACTUALLY...




WE GOT MOVIE SIGN!!!





Rumors of my slackery have been exaggerated. Hell, at the rate I'm going, you may yet get one more issue out of me this year. OMFG DBSK IS QUARTERLY.


bowdown


I know this is a SHOCK coming from a Leo, but enough about me. I know what you're here for...


2pmhipthrust

No.


2PMBeastHunters

Yes.


wooyoungbed

Um...


tacebed

Good lord.


chansunfbodyroll

EXCUSE ME. BE BACK IN A MOMENT.




ALL RIGHT NOW WHERE WERE WE? OH, YES.


SHIN KI ROLL CALL


KIM JAEJOONG
jaejoong25


JUNG YUNHO
yunhopoleslide


PARK YOOCHUN
chunhipthrust


KIM JUNSU
junsuepictongue


and SHIM CHANGMIN
omfgchangmin


It is very important that you remember them like this. SEXY, FABULOUS, AND GORGEOUS. Not like this...Collapse )
I don't do this for the fanfare...

bigbangpartyhard


...or the swag

gdragonswag


...or the amazing sex with Nichkhun...

sexykhuntime


I do this for us...

cassiopeiagif


...and I do it for them.

dbskgivesmenopoints

Oh, come on you guys. Couldn't you muster a little enthusiasm?


xiahnodsoff

WAT.

sadsantana


chunwantstotouchhimself

That's...great. How about the rest of you bring it somewhere to a middle?


minwept

This is why Paradise Ranch was terrible. You have no range.


changmingun

Changmin, I will get you a delicious X-tra large New York-style pizza if you get the others to show me some appreciation for all my hard work. And if you put down the gun. That would be nice, too.




ALL RIGHT, ON WITH THE SHOW.


kermitflail


clicky da fake linkyCollapse )
SO IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR SINCE I GRACED YOUR PRESENCE WITH AN OMFG DBSK POST.




DO. YOU. KNOW. WHAT. TIME. IT IS?

I SAID, DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS??!

IT'S...
Read more...Collapse )
Finally, the Cat has come back to OMFG DONG BANG FUCKING SHIN KI YOU GUISE



So Imma bout to do what I do best and that's LAY THE SMACK DOWN ON YOUR CANDY ASS NO STEAL YOUR TV AND JUMP OUT THE WINDOW NO, DROOL OVER GORGEOUS KOREAN MEN AND TRY TO BE FUNNY AT THE SAME TIME.

That's right, bitches. It's time...



NO.

</p>

MAYBE.



YES.


I MEAN NO! It's time to wrap up Save the Drama for Your Umma with my VERY SPECIAL RECAP of UNFORGETTABLE LOVE!!!

It all starts with that cad Yunho having a date on White Day and OMG IT'S NOT JAEJOONG. WHAT IS LIFE. WHAT IS AIR.

It's a blind date. THAT'S RIGHT, SOME RANDOM LUCKY BITCH GETS TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH YUNHO. Excuse me while I go buy a new monitor because I just threw mine out the window.

The rest of the boys, being single and miserable thanks to smothering fangirls, NO contract stipulations, NO the ~pressures of fame~, sit around getting drunk on soju and proceed to have an orgy, then upload it on the internet NO painting their nails, eating ice cream, and crying while watching some yet-to-exist Kim Jae Wook drama through the miracle of Changmin's reality-warping powers NO, BUT YOU'RE GETTING WARMER.

Mmm...Kim Jae Wook.



*ahem*

clicky da fake linky...Collapse )

Only What You Take With You

There was a charge to the air, like the hitch in your throat when you're about to cough. Something was wrong.

Flames and smoke began to emerge from the airspeeder. My insufferable fellow twi'lek (and unfortunately, for lack of a more flattering way to put it, my boss), Captain Kit , found himself yet again a magnet for trouble. He was closest to the vehicle, and as the ensuing explosion hurtled outward, Master Aquil moved to interpose himself between the captain and the impact.

The Crystal Cave of Dantooine, used for centuries by the neighboring Jedi Enclave in the construction of their lightsabers, collapsed, and the very earth gave way beneath us all.

Relieved though I was to execute an injury-saving somersault as I hit the ground, I had little time to glory in it. I was alone. The air was cold. Phosphorescent strips of mineral dimly lit the dank cavern. There was no response from the comlinks, and the Dark Side of the Force so shrouded this place, that telepathy with my Cathar padawan Frridder Hsk or with Master Aquil proved impossible. I could only hope that I was not the only survivor.

I knelt, and tried to remember my days as a youngling, when Solon, Ahdekta and I would clear out kinrath in this place.
A vision formed in my mind...Collapse )




Pray God you can cope

I stand outside

This woman's work

This woman's world

Oooh, it's hard on the man

Now his part is over

Now starts the craft of the father



I know you have a little life in you yet

I know you have a lot of strength left

I know you have a little life in you yet

I know you have a lot of strength left



I should be crying

But I just can't let it show

I should be hoping

But I couldn’t stop thinking



All the things I should've said

That I never said

All the things we should of done

That we never did

All the things I should've given

But I didn't

Oh darling make it go

Make it go away




Give me these moments back
Give them back to me

Give me that little kiss

Give me your hand



I know you have a little life in you yet

I know you have a lot of strength left

I know you have a little life in you yet

I know you have a lot of strength left



I should be crying

But I just can't let it show

I should be hoping

But I can’t stop thinking



All the things I should've said

That I never said

All the things we should of done

That we never did

All the things that you needed from me

All the things that you wanted from me

All the things I should've given

But I didn't

Oh darling make it go away

Just make it go away

Shim Changmin felt a chill go down his spine despite the warm summer sun that shone down on him, his fellow members of TVXQ, representatives of both the South Korean and North Korean governments, and a crew of about a hundred. Though the group was on hiatus at the time due to a lawsuit, this performance and photo shoot was a very special exception. Relations had recently thawed between the two Koreas, and there was talk about ending the war that had divided them for over 60 years. TVXQ’s performance was the opening to ten days of talks and festivities at North Korea’s famous resort, Kŭmgangsan, and them just being there was a goodwill gesture on behalf of the South Korean government. How could we refuse, thought Changmin, when we can help end the war?

That is not to say that things weren’t...awkward. Yunho and Jaejoong were doing their best to not make physical contact. Junsu blocked everyone out, listening on his iPod to the latest mix that Kanye West had sent of “Ayyy Girl”, a song he had recorded with Jae and Yoochun. Yoochun was guardedly happy but nervous. He had not been able to maintain his American citizenship and ending the war was of particular interest to him. Yoochun was a tender soul, and even Changmin didn’t know what fighting in a war would do to him.

The youngest member of TVXQ felt lost. He hated to be alone, and had gotten used to staying close to Yunho or Minho ever since the lawsuit, but it wasn’t enough to fill the gaping hole that was left by the absence of Jae, Chun and Su. Now they were together again, but everyone was off in their own corner. No one wanted to be disturbed. And what made matters worse, was that he wasn’t able to read anyone’s mind today, not even for fun. Someone or something was running some sort of interference. He shrugged, and cracked open the second volume of In Search of Lost Time with one hand as he stuffed a piece of Opera Cake into his mouth with the other. Probably just a precaution. Nothing to worry about. Standard operating procedure and all that. Everything is fine.

~


One hour till showtime. They could all perform this routine in their sleep, but Yunho was concerned that Junsu was still lounging in his chair, a hour after the stylist had finished with him, with his eyes closed. Junsu was the most disciplined of all of them; he normally would be warming up right now. Maybe their new management is working them really hard, thought Yunho.

He was nervous. Tiny blue flames danced along his fingertips as he paced across the grounds, eyeing Junsu here, making small talk with the dignitaries there, and every so often, stealing glances at Jaejoong. Before he could look away, Jae locked eyes with him for just a moment, and his heart felt like it was either going to break or burst. With Jae he could never tell. I’m just nervous because it’s been so long since we’ve all been on the same stage. Changmin would have told me if he sensed something was wrong. There’s nothing to worry about. Everything is fine.

~


Jaejoong’s heart was in his throat. Ever since the hiatus, he and Yunho hadn’t spoken much. All their communications were monitored, and Changmin refused to be the go-between for their more explicit messages. “It was bad enough cock-blocking you guys all those years,” he would say. Being a psychic, he would never be able to understand what Jaejoong was going through, being apart from Yunho for such long stretches of time, wondering if he really still felt the same. He wished he could just know. Jaejoong felt powerless. Though he still had Yoochun and Junsu to look after and care for (and that was a full time job in and of itself), he missed having Yunho’s arms around him every night. He missed waking up next to him. Hell, he missed both of them terribly. He even missed that snarky maknae bastard Changmin stealing bits of dinner before it was ready. I suppose, he thought, this feeling is normal. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m sure to get over it soon. One day the tears will stop coming out of the blue. And then everything will be fine.

~


Yoochun was doing his best to keep up a sunny demeanor. He had even managed to make eye contact with Yunho without scowling at him. Ever since the split, comforting Jae had become a full-time job, when it was usually Yoochun himself who was on the receiving end of the emotional pampering. Especially since...well, just thinking about that caused a cloud to appear in a previously cloudless sky, and it blocked out the sunlight. An unseasonably chill breeze whipped Yoochun’s silky black hair back. She had told him that he needed a haircut when he last saw her, and as usual she was right. Damn her. Yoochun wondered why Changmin hadn’t inserted himself into his thoughts and told him to “Man the fuck up” yet. He gritted his teeth, forcing a smile on his face, and the cloud dissipated. He figured that he may as well check on Junsu. And then we can get up on stage, do our thing, save the world and everything will be fine. Nothing to worry about.

~


Junsu was sitting slumped in his stylist’s chair when Yoochun found him. “C’mon, baby. We should be warming up now,” Yoochun whispered as he tugged on Junsu’s arm.

There was no response. Yoochun frowned and shook Junsu by the shoulders, gently at first, then increasing in urgency as the reality of the situation dawned on him. “Su? Su-yah! Wake up!” Junsu was pale, his face glistened with sweat, and his breathing was shallow. Yoochun concentrated, sorting out the energies in Junsu’s body. Whatever was wrong with him, it wasn’t natural. Going purely on instinct, Yoochun tried to send a message in his mind to Changmin, hoping that the maknae was eavesdropping on his mopey thoughts instead of being absorbed in Volume Two of In Search of Lost Time: À l'ombre des jeunes filles en fleurs in the original French, of course, while eating his third piece of Opera cake.

The lack of an immediate response, led Yoochun to believe that Changmin was either unwilling or unable to read his thoughts. The slender pianist slung his ailing friend over his shoulder and frantically called out for Yunho.

~


This was apparently what they had been waiting for; they, being a rogue faction of the North Korean Military. Yunho, hearing Yoochun’s cries for help, burst into flames and began to fly in that direction, until he saw Jaejoong out of the corner of his eye. He was surrounded by men with guns but even though Jae had no offensive powers and little way to defend himself, his eyes were full of defiance. He called out to Yunho, “Leave me. Save Su!” before he was tranquilized, and fell to the ground in a heap.

Yunho roared, and without thinking, he rushed at Jae’s attackers, before a surge of energy rushed through him and felled him as well.

Changmin had dropped his book and licked his fingers clean by this point. He ran towards Yoochun. “Chunnie! Take Junsu and fly out of here!”

Yoochun was panicking. His two best friends were unconscious. Yunho, his rock, though he was loathe to admit it, was also neutralized. His breathing began to hitch. Oh, not now, asthma, he thought. “Min, can’t you do something?”

Changmin grabbed Yoochun by the arm and dragged him to a place where they could briefly hide. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. They don’t work! My powers don’t work. You have to save yourself and Junsu! Go! Fly! Now!”

Yoochun’s breathing became more shallow and swift. He paled, and shook his head.

Changmin slapped him across the face. “Fly, you fucking babo!”

And then Yoochun rose into the air, slowly. Clouds descended and the wind picked up. “I can do this. I...I can save us.” he whispered.

Changmin shook his head. “No, Chun. You’ve got to get Junsu out of here!”

But Yoochun could no longer hear him. His eyes rolled back and, as he spread his arms wide, lightning crashed from the sky and hit about half the soldiers in his eyeline.

What he didn’t realize was that those soldiers were bait. He soon felt electricity course through his entire body before he fell limply to the ground.

Changmin shielded Yoochun and Junsu behind him protectively as the soldiers approached. A young Captain stepped forward and smiled at him. He had just enough time to say, “Fuck my life” before he joined his hyungs in unconsciousness.

NaNoWriMo

I know it't cheating, but I think I'll revise and finish my DBSK fanfic as my NaNoWriMo project.

Sue me. :P

I'm thinking of making the YunJae chapter more graphic. Forgive me the seemingly uncharacteristic self-consciousness about it. It is one thing to be comfortable reading smutfic but writing it is a whole different story. This may require more...research on my part, LOL.

One thing is certain. Before November 1st, I need to update my OMFG It's Dong Bang Fucking Shin Ki posts at least one more time. This LJ is in need of more lulz.

Incidentally, I know my fic isn't the greatest thing I've written, but I'd appreciate more feedback on it from you connosieurs of DBSK fics. I'm never going to get better without help. *puppy eyes*

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

The War of the Maknaes

About five months ago, I posted this picture



in my twitter with the following byline:

"As much as I love the Min (and you know I love the Min), I gotta name ChansUNF the Hottest Maknae in KPop."

EPIC MAKNAE PICSPAM COMMENCES...Collapse )

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